Monday, April 12, 2010

Hormones and Being a Woman

Yeah, I love being a woman, and all that entails, but really the hormones can get on my nerves sometimes. I mean they are helping me become the woman I am, my skin feels softer, i finally am having some decent breast growth. I am feeling more and more like a woman every day, but yeah crazy stuff happens. I take injected hormones so it creates a hormonal cycle, and supposedly it helps the effect of the hormones. It makes it so my body handles it in cycles instead of becoming desensitized to it thus slowing growth.

It also gives me a period.....

I know, I don't have a uterus and I don't bleed once a month, but the rest of it is still there. When i first take the shot every month, within the first couple days I'm hornier than a desert lizard. And it just doesn't go away, I stay horny until a few days later when it finally settles down. It all stays normal for a while and no big deal until it gets to the last week before my next shot.

That last week I always feel all hormonal....or lack thereof....either way I get all moody, gasey, little cramps here and there. I definitely get PMSey, going off the handle at the slightest thing, whether that be anger or just breaking down and crying. I feel ugly, like I'll never be a true woman, like I am some sick freak. I just hate myself during this time, and just about anything sets me off, and its just really hard to focus.

If you didn't get the hint from the ranting, I'm in the latter time at the moment and I'm on the verge of tears. I feel stupid for being all emotional over nothing, but I guess thats the price for being a woman. I may be all emotional right now, but over all I am very happy with myself as I go, I may wish it would go faster but I am happy. I feel the mask coming off slowly, and it is a nice feeling to be free of the oppression of the fake male persona I had created.

I may have had crazy chocolate cravings before (I do love chocolate) but now I KNOW why women eat it when they are helps.

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