Tuesday afternoon, through Friday night, I was sick, and I mean sick sick. It was not pleasant, I'm not sure if I had the stomach flu, or had food poisoning, or what. All I know was keeping solid food down was all but impossible, and I was confined to the bathroom for long periods of time sitting there emptying myself. It was not pleasant, it was painful, and my teeth still feel funny from the vomiting. It sucks even more because I had to miss work days, and frankly I need the money right now.
Incidentally when I get to work yesterday for the first time since I had been sick, I find out that I am still running all hosting shifts. Now I do not think I have mentioned this on this blog, but I am trying to go back to serving so I can make more money, because frankly I make a lot more money as a server than as a hostess. What is my manager's only excuse for this, "Oh, I forgot to put you in the system." Yes Alex, that is TOOOOTALLY forgivable that you would forget THREE WEEKS in a row, despite the fact that the host manager and I have asked you to do this multiple times. Yes, it is perfectly fine that you would fuck up the schedule as always and leave me out of it, at least my manager for hosting was good enough to give me my hosting shifts so I wasn't totally fucked. So here I am with another hosting weak, and if he forgets again I am going to go off the deep end, farking idiot.
But lets move on....
As for my name, tomorrow I am planning to go to the courthouse to put in my petition for a name change, so that I can finally live with my proper name. It is a long process, takes a total of about a month of time to do, but it is worth it. I hope it goes without a hitch, because frankly without this step my whole "going full time" plan for August is kaput. I still worry about it, but I am trying to stay calm and for the most part am doing all right in that department.
This is just something I have really wanted for a long time now and this is the next big step, so it is very important to me. After the name change is done I move on to getting a new social security card which takes fourteen days roughly, and then on to other records. Records such as my bank, my phone, and anything else that has my damned other name on it. Lastly I would let work know a little in advance, so that they could be prepared, and thankfully this state has protection for transsexuals in the employment non-discrimination act.
I made sure to get a copy of my work file and all of my write ups, few as there are, so that after I make the change I have some evidence. So if they try to tack on a lot of write ups for bullcrap reasons I can pull mine out and say "well its a little suspicious that they bothered me about this NOW". I hope not to have to pull that card, but you never know.
But enough about that...
While I was sick though, when I wasn't confined to bed but felt ok enough to do something other than sit on the toilet, I was playing dead space. I would like to state for the record that Dead Space is a scary as hell game, and it is more intense than any other survival horror game I have ever played. I mean the music was perfectly composed and placed, the lighting was just perfect, and the way they sprung things on you makes you paranoid while playing it, and trigger happy. Its a great and fun game, but damned if its not scary as hell. If you ever get a chance, play it, but you will be scared almost guaranteed.
But that about catches up to me and my life, as a Musician, as a Pagan, and as a Woman.